Friday, April 11, 2008

Whatever it takes

It's a bad day, on the health front. I got up early, then immediately knew I had to put my left temple back on the pillow until the migraine medication kicked in. I'm not complaining, though. Not today. Yesterday I talked to someone very close to my Beve and me, who has every right to complain. She's had more things go wrong with her body than anyone I know--if I listed them all, you'd think I was making half of them up, because no one could survive everything she's lived through. The latest two things have left her--at least for the foreseeable future--completely dependent on others, this for a fiercely independent, take-charge, I'll serve you, kind of woman, who is, of all things, an RN. Anyway, she's also the most positive, strong, least-complaining person I know, with an great sense of humor--the ability to laugh at herself and her situation, even in the worst of moments. It's no easy thing, and a grace, I know. Yesterday, as she was speaking, just for a second, her voice caught, and in that single sound I heard the real struggle it is for her to live as she does--not only with the health problems, but in the choosing not to let them define her.

I see in her what Paul speaks of in 2 Corinthians 4: 16-18,"Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal weight of glory that far out weighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is see, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary,but what is unseen is eternal."

So my head pounds today. And I want to complain about it. About the 36 years of migraines, and all the other things that hurt in my body... (whoops, I guess I just veered into a whine!) but to think of this 'eternal weight of glory' reels me in. What does it take in my life for that to be achieved? For some people perhaps it won't take physical pain. But I don't care what it takes, when I get to the right frame of mind--when I fix my eyes on what is unseen!--I want that 'eternal weight of glory that far outweighs them all.'

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