Sunday, October 4, 2009

Economy

"Oh, the wind does blow and oh, the waves they roll..." Yup, we're living in an old campfire girls song here in Northwest Washington.  From my front window I can see the froth on Bellingham Bay, and our neighbor talked to Beve this afternoon about the tree across the street that looks in danger of cracking and falling in the heavy wind.  We no longer have a fir tree in our yard, but somehow we have MANY fir tree branches and pinecones lying all over the grass.  Beve's out there right now cleaning it up--with one of his many self-propelled lawn-mowers.  Why rake, after all, when a mower will do the job much more easily, and cut the grass at the same time.

I'm all for this economy of energy myself.  When I'm doing laundry, I grab as many piles as I can carry--towels for both bathrooms, the kitchen, Beve's and my clothes.  Why take several trips to do what I can manage in one?  I fill up my pockets, load down my arms, have been known to hold things in my teeth if I can, just so I can be judicious in my work.  I even do errands in an expedient manner; that is, before I leave the house, I figure out the order of my errands so that my route doesn't have any back-tracking in in it.  I did mention the other day that I'm slightly OCD, didn't I?  It just always feels like I'm wasting time if I have to double back on myself, or make several trips through the house in order to put things away, or do things the slow way, when a much quicker way is available to me.

All these things aren't because I'm energetic, though.  I live, work, move thusly because precisely the opposite is true.  I actually am more than a little bit lazy. For a long time I saw this laziness as THE sin in my life.  The sin of all sins for me, my biggest stumbling block, the block in my eye, the cross on which I must die...well, you get the picture.  Laziness, of course, is a manifestation of selfishness, a putting of self and my interests, desires, passions at the center, by neglecting others' interests.

But as I've matured in Christ, as I've gone to the cross over and over with this, allowed Him to bend and mold me, I've seen a slow change (of course, it takes 70+ years to accomplish and even on my last day I'll still be learning)in this flesh called myself.  This economy of energy and effort, the intentional way I work through chores so I can get through them, just get through them, is okay.  It's still work done heartily.  Still done to/for Him.  I do them, after all.  I do the things set before me to do. My essential nature hasn't changed.  God hasn't made me like Beve or my farmer brother-in-law who just can't sit and relax, have this drive to work, accomplish, finish just one more task.  I will never be like them.  But what I'm responsible for doing, I can do.  And who I'm responsible for being, I aim to be.  That task will also last the rest of my life.  And I'll tell you what (to quote E, who quotes a north country farm boy with a distinct twang when she says this), in that--in the learning to BE who He's made me to be--in that, there is no economy of energy or effort.  It will take what it takes, through slow seasons where I'm walking in cement as well as the ones where it's like I'm walking without gravity. The wind, He tells us, will blow where it will...in my life, through my life, through my work and my simple being.

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