Thursday, May 26, 2011

On my mind

Some days are like this. Some days I wake up with a single person so firmly in my brain that it's all I can do to put one foot in front of the other to do my own tasks in my own house in my own life.  I'm that much centered--in mind, heart, prayer--on whoever has a grip on me.  The Holy Spirit does this, of course.  It's the Holy Spirit who puts a bungee cord between people so that prayer can accomplish what might not be even thought of otherwise.  I've learned not to fight it.

But today was a no-brainer.  Today I spent the day praying for a young woman, a family awaiting a baby, and all the pain and beauty between the two.  I've known for a while that this day was coming, but woke up this morning with the strong impression that this was THE day, and sure enough, SK texted me not long afterwards to say it was the day.

My youngest brother, BB, turned 40 Tuesday.  Forty years ago, my dad was forty years old and got the best birthday present of his life.  I think of BB as that, the best birthday gift of my dad's life.  And this year, I'm thinking more than ever of the young girl we'll never know who gave us that gift.  I've thought of this so many, many time over the course of BB's life, how much I love him, how glad I am that he's my BB, how much richer my life is because he's in it. But until this year when SK's been walking alongside a friend making the same hard decision, I never really considered the gift of BB from his mother's point of view.   I know nothing about BB's birth mother, so I have no idea what motivated her decision.  But what she did, and what this friend of SK did this afternoon when she placed a baby in his family's arms, is a sacrifice of love.

A family has a new baby this evening.  And apparently they love the quilt they were given along with their new son; I'm glad to have had a tiny way to bless them.  But as much as I feel joy for them, my heart is aching for SK's friend.  But God understands that too. He knows.  He understands and will redeem what has been given up willingly.  He is the restorer.  He is.

I'll keep praying.  As He leads. Wherever He leads.

Yes, it's been one of those days in one of those weeks.  Do you have those?  Do you pay attention when you can't get someone out of your mind?  That's Him, you know.  His whisper.  Let it lead you to prayer.

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