Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Back to my senses

In the last few months I've been reading a blog by a woman with the provocative name of "Recovering Church Lady."  She's witty and insightful, full of small snippets of real life--her dog, hubby, and all things ordinary--marinated in a transparency that draws me in. A couple of weeks ago, she waved the proverbial carrot in front of my nose...a carrot I could hardly bear not to reach out and bite right then and there, except that our lives were crazy-busy at the time. The carrot, you see, was called, "Random Journal Day." The idea was to take an old journal, flip it open and write about whatever was found there.

Check out the here for some of the other journal keepers.

So because I have a journal or...70 + (I counted), I thought I'd give it a go. The trick will be whether I can actually link back to the other blogs. Being the techno-idiot that I am, that's the rough part. And all those myriad blue journals should explain why I'm more comfortable with pens than computer. Still.

I grabbed 'Autumn 2004' from the shelf, and opened it to 'October 8' (in black pen on the right--I am OCD about my journals. I must use a different colored pen each day; don't ask me why, it's just what I do!) And if you read closely, you'll be able to see that I'm merely copying my exact words--this first time anyway.

To wit:
"Come back to your senses as you ought and stop sinning." 1 Cor. 15: 34
Buechner says this is the essence of repentance: coming to one's senses. A helpful definition, especially if one thinks of the fact that we're already saved from our sins through the cross. It implies that our RIGHT senses are not sin-full.  Not if we are Christ-ones. We don't have to become sin-less (I'm using the hyphen to connote a cup of water image), we already are. Sin pollutes what we do, but we are His, we hold the Holy Spirit. So, come back to your senses--return to your true self. The 'as your ought' implies certain fleshly resistance, which I (as well as anyone) know viscerally.  Sin, unfortunately, is not always uncomfortable in the action. In fact, not even in reaction. If it were, we'd be less apt to do it, right?  But His Spirit nudges, prods and compels and when we come back to our senses; i.e., repent, how fresh the world is. (The word fresh reminds me of that evangelist Benny Hinn, who blew, pushed or touched people in his healing ministry, always saying, "Fresh!" I never understood the word choice."

Lord, I want to concentrate on you but my mind easily wanders. I'm not sure I could empty my mind to save my life, to be honest. I want space to hear you, I just can't seem to accomplish it on my own. It seems to me that returning to my senses isn't even possible without your assistance.  Paul Tournier says "The act of writing prevents me from slipping into wool gathering." Maybe that's what I'm doing as I write tonight--I'm writing my way back to my senses.


quietspirit said...

Hi, I am also doing the Random Journal Day. Dawn had a posting in her blog. I like your transparency. We all have at least one compelling reason to write. Mine can be to gain perspective and make sense of issues affecting me.

Modern Day Disciple said...

Hi There!
I LOVE your share! Thank you for linking up. OK, so the journals on the shelf makes me want to do a dance for joy. I love that they are uniform size. On my blog I have a picture of my journal pile! LOL- not so OCD yet OCD in my own journal way...Thanks for the peek into your pages. I appreciate the insights you shared about sin from your writing BUT I am just so excited at the sight of all those journals! The link is up every week, so please continue to share! In His Grace, Dawn @ Beneath The Surface: Breath of Faith