Thursday, May 31, 2012

It's God's problem

Apparently it's all things purple over at the Random Journal Day link-up. Check it out HERE.

Tonight my dive into my history led me back to 2005. It was the winter/spring before two of our children left home for college, so worries about financial aid loomed large. As did a host of other things, like leading our church's multi-generational mission trip, teaching adult Sunday school, speaking at a retreat, my mother's spiral into Alzheimer's, my novel, and the dissolution of a marriage of someone very close to my heart . But here's what I wrote that February night:

Tuesday, 2-22-05
...these are things deeply burdening me at the moment. And they bear much in common. Nothing the eye can see, of course, but there is this: we (Beve and I) cannot solve any of them. We cannot 'fix' any problem. Not by will nor by might...it's ALL beyond my ability, my control, my humanity. 
As Beve always says, "It's God's problem."  
EXACTLY. That's it. The way I'm called to live is stretching out my hand in faith. Moses touched a staff to a rock and water poured forth because God was in it, solving a drought issue. He raised his arm and a sea divided because a transportation and chase catastrophe was upon the people. God was in that. Moses wasn't the one solving Israel's problems in the wilderness, he was just the man who kept going up the mountain to seek God's face. Then, his face a mere reflection, Moses came back down to the people to lift his arms and say, "This is what God says..." NOT 'this is what I think we should do.' He didn't make a single attempt to lead by solving his own or anyone else's issues. He knew those problems were beyond him. Overwhelming Up on the mountain, over and over, saying, "You, Lord, have always been faithful. You have to do it again. If Your presence doesn't go with us, we can't move! That's how much we need you."  
Let me learn this lesson today, Lord. You have always been faithful. Over and over and over. You have to do it. You don't tease. I learned that once. Remind me again for my kids--for the finances for their college.  You will provide. You know we can't solve this issue by ourselves.

"If your presence doesn't go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are please with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?" Exodus 33: 15-16


6 comments:

Modern Day Disciple said...

Hope you enjoyed the Purple! Question: What about the NOVEL?
Did you finish it? Where is it? etc. I want some answers! ;) I love the saying "It's God's Problem"- it reminds me of a verse that says roll all your cares onto Him , He cares for you...(1Peter? ) I think it was a lesson I remember hearing on the verse about Casting our cares on God! Lovely as always, Carolyn!

Kristina said...

Makes me think of something I was thinking the other day. I was feeling weighted about something and then said this is not my world. I didn't make it; I can't fix it.
Something to that effect anyway. There are things that we can do and we can fix and there are thing that only God can do.

jeskmom said...

Dawn--I love the purple. My younger will love it more; all things purple for her! About my novel. I was fortunate enough to have a big time New York agent take an interest right off the bat, and a great editor to work with. However, after a long, arduous process (it's NOT for the faint of heart) and the perfect storm of the economy crash of 2008, and them asking me to change something that would make it inauthentic, it died. About a year after God told me to lay it down. Whether he will ever give it (or another) back, I don't know. But my blog was born out of the need to keep writing--like my heart needs to keep beating. I think you get something of that. Sometimes I still ache for story-telling but less all the time. My times are in His hands...right?

quietspirit said...

J.
I identify with the idea of "It's God's problem. We had so many things over the years that I had to say, "God, it's yours take care of it.", about each one of them.

Recovering Church Lady said...

Great words here. Thanks for adding so much to the Random Journal Day Jeskmom!
The beauty of letting God handle the big stuff is the freedom it allows us to rest in Him. Your blog is a good reminder of that. Thanks!
Susie

Modern Day Disciple said...

HI Carolyn, hope I am spelling that right! Sorry it took me so long to get back to this comment! Thanks for the heads up and for sharing. Wow...amazing that God lined up everything and then in the end you trusted as He led you to lay it down. SOme times one wonders what God is up to...His ways, our ways and His timing so opposed to one another...but we hope in this: He is conforming us, transforming us, renewing us and will reveal Himself to us and give us peace and joy along the way! Phew. Grateful for your portion- and who knows what He has next? We will see, my friend!