She was just so sure she knew what was best for them. Knew how to handle every situation. She fretted about her brother when they sat at their little table with coloring books open and he took crayons and scribbled all over the page, and about her sister because she liked doing her own drawings--even on the pages where the lines were clear and black. And she told them exactly how they were supposed to be acting in every situation. Yep, I spent half her childhood telling her, "Let me be the mother!"
I thought of this before I got out of be this morning because I was
"Let me be God,"
I heard these words very clearly. As clearly as the words I used to say to E. I was the mother and knew what was best. With her 4 or 6 year old mind, she couldn't possibly see or know or understand. And it wasn't her job. Her place. It was above her pay-grade, so to speak. But it wasn't above mine. It was my job.
"Let me be God."
He is God. Obviously. So I must let Him BE God in my life and in the lives of those for whom I pray. So I can ask Him, but it's His job to act. It's above my pay-grade to tell Him how to do so. Yes, it's His job to BE God. It's His BEing God that means I can trust Him when I pray, trust that He will act for the best. In any and every situation. Whatever my worries, or my hopes and dreams, it's up to Him. There is not only safety but joy in that.
Amazingly, my year's verse has been Psalm 131: 1-2 (which was in my devotional again yesterday by no fluke at all!!!), which reminds me of exactly the same thing.
My heart is not proud, Lord,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me
But I have calmed myself
and quieted my ambitions.
I am like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child I am content.