Friday, June 21, 2013

What I'm thinking about right this moment

Things I'm thinking about right this moment:

  • the ridiculous number of quilt tops in the closet that need to be finished in the next two months. I can't even tell you how many...it's just too embarrassing.
  •  how much work we have to do around this house now that Beve's officially on summer vacation. I made a list today then wadded it up and tossed it in the recycling. And went back to my latest quilting project (which will join the quilt-tops that must be finished in the next two months!)
  • when summer vacation stopped being vacation and began being 'work as hard as you can to do everything you didn't get done during the school year?'
  • How much fun Grampie was last night when we saw him. Sure, more than half of what he told us didn't make any sense, and the half that DID make sense wasn't true, but he was in great spirits and talked a blue streak. Who cares if he thinks he's leaving "Saturday morning," thinks his parents are still alive (and maybe his grandparents as well)? Who cares if he talks to Beve about Beve (in the third person) when he says he's going to live on a farm with his son? We just answer as if he makes sense, because as soon as he closes his eyes for even a half-an-hour, he'll think it's a whole new day and have some other new plans.
  • I don't have to finish EVERY book I start. What is it in me that makes me think I do? Makes me stay up almost to dawn because I just have to finish--and it wasn't even that good.  
  • And now I'm exhausted.
  • My parents, whose wedding anniversary was yesterday. They'd have been married 58 years. I wrote my siblings that it's odd to think that we weren't at their wedding (as children normally aren't) because we were the most important observers and participants in their marriage (as children normally are).   
  • Psalm 131, which (as I said the other day) is my Psalm for 2013.  It's short and powerful, and today reminded me that though I've never had a career, never been a 'professional', never even worked full-time since I've been married, my 'job' has been counter-intuitive to my own nature. My natural instinct would have been to point to CAROLYN in bold letters and bright lights. You should see how I can do this. Really. Ask my family, they'll tell you. So He has put me--by His hook and by His Shepherd's crook--in a quiet, hidden life, where I've learned that my job is Him. Or I should say, I'm learning it. He strips things from us and we learn. My heart is not proud, my eyes are not haughty. That's what this Psalm teaches me--DAILY.  I do not concern myself with things too wonderful (read IMPORTANT or LARGE) for me. I have calmed myself and quieted my ambitions. Like a weaned child with its mother I am content.
  • Yep, that's it. Learning contentment. Do I sound like a broken record? No matter. That's what life's about. Learning the secret of being content.

4 comments:

M said...

I love how Grampie's core personality hasn't changed any, even if he doesn't make any sense to us. I feel like we all should live like it's a brand new day every time we wake.

Recovering Church Lady said...

About the book thing....It was one of my best freedom decisions to realize that it is totally OK to quit a book before the end!! There are SO MANY books to be read, I now do not stay with a book that doesn't grab me or does not make me care about at least one of the characters.
So freeing!
Now I leave the library with at least 5 at a time, knowing that I will always have a back-up if one doesn't work out!
I HEREBY BESTOW UPON YOU THE RIGHT TO QUIT A BOOK BEFORE THE END. haha! Susie

Pamela M. Steiner said...

Funny about the books, I just did that a week ago...checked out 3 or 4 from my church (work) library, and ended up reading only one. When they start out with unhappiness due to unfaithfulness, and no obvious redeeming value, I just don't need to fill my head with that. I don't need to read to be depressed and sad. There's enough of that in real life already. I read to be encouraged, uplifted, and maybe even laugh at characters who are a bit like me under the surface...Yes, it is definitely OKAY to put dumb books down and go smell the roses or watch the birds for awhile instead! :)

jeskmom said...

Thanks, Susie. I'll let you know if your bestowing words have ripped the chains off when next I open a book that really should be thrown across the room (or at least closed before it's finished). You are the queen!