That's what I've been this week.
At least when it comes to writing blog posts.
Stuff happens and I think it'd be a great post. Then...
the next thing you know I've spent four hours at my sewing machine or three hours reading or a couple hours writing down my 'go-to' verses in scripture, then trying to list them in order of importance (Psalm 84 is on top of the list, but John 1 is at the bottom because I believe in saving the best for last!), or an hour on pintrest or...well, you get my point.
That point being I've been wasting a whole lot of time this week.
And going to various medical appointments, which is something of a hobby.
I think I need a new hobby.
yesterday, for the first time in my life, I jumped the fence.
That is, I tried alternative medicine.
I went to a naturopath. A Christian woman who clicks her fingers as she runs fingers over vials of some kind of liquid that tell her things about a person's body. We prayed before she started. Then, about ten seconds later, she said, "Wow, neurological." Then she said, "Hmm, but it's not in your brain." And, get this, the next thing you know, she's telling me it came from an 'old trauma' of some kind. By this time I was sitting up pretty straight, that's for sure. I'd walked in the door, removed my shoes (and cell-phone) and had told her nothing more than my name. Really. But there it was. Exactly as it is in my body. She preceded to learn (from my body) that I don't have a gall-bladder, that there are colds in our house (both Beve and J have them right now!!!), and that I struggle with headaches.
Not bad, if you ask me.
OK, more than not bad. I went in a skeptic and was slowly impressed that God was revealing things in that tiny office.
It wasn't all perfect, however. She dove into some emotional stuff, and there she got way off. There were two different little 'vials' about my temperament that she pulled that were supposedly out of whack and needed healing. One was that I'm insecure, shy, timid, a person who is afraid to voice opinions or speak in public. The other one said that I am 'angry, resentful, hateful, have a violent temper, am mean-spirited, selfish and ungenerous (is that a word?). This second is the worst thing she ever has to tell people, she said, but they usually break down crying as they confess this deep, dark secret about themselves. Needless to say, I didn't cry. I was just stunned. Blank. I'm a lot of things, and I can name them as well as anyone. Lazy's one. Too opinionated is another. But these things? Not so much. Not even close. My kids, my husband, my siblings would all tell you that I've never had a 'violent temper.' So I told her that she was off the mark and she said, "I'm right about 98% of the time and other times the people are lying...not that I'm saying you're lying!"
Really? That's something of a catch-22, isn't it? Either agree, or you're lying.
So I just let it be.
Then and now.
God knows what I am.
Who I am.
"Do you believe that God loves you just the way you are today?" she asked me. "And that he can't love you anymore no matter what you do or don't do?"
"Yes." I answered.
"Really?" she asked.
I wanted to say, "I believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Holy One of God," but I thought that might be overkill.
All in all, the experience was a draw. She was right about my physical ailments, but she wasn't right about my temperament--about my flaws. And that's okay. I don't need a human to reveal my sin to me. It's the Holy Spirit's job to convict me concerning righteousness. I trust Him to do it. He does and He does and He does. Amen.